Evolution is about adapting to challenges by growing and changing your response. Oftentimes, we can look back at our lives and outline events that triggered growth. But, how often do we actively seek growth or experience an event outside our comfort zone, because it’ll make us a better person?

Oddly enough, indecisiveness plagues me most in the face of small nuances, such as what type of ice cream I want that night. When it comes to big decisions, I dive headfirst based on my initial gut response. I barely look before I leap, because if I can’t see the bottom, why does it matter? Why analyze the out come when I don’t know what it is?

Assumptively, people get better at predicting the outcomes of their decisions by building upon previous life experience, but you can never really know (try as you might!) the outcome of life-changing acts. I can predict the result of regretting my ice cream choice, but I can’t predict the outcome of something bigger, for example: moving to New York City.

“The city of dreams” and “the concrete jungle” don’t have quite the same connotation. My mom helped me move into my bare-brick Brooklyn apartment. After I stood on the sidewalk, waving goodbye to her and her Uber driver until they were out of sight, I realized I was to be financially independent, working, making new friends and creating a completely new life for myself … all in a space that felt other worldly to my southern roots. Suddenly, the city of seemingly endless possibilities morphed into the wild, wild west.

Photos by Cabrini Klepper.

I traded mountains of earth and grass for mountains of concrete and glass. Even the thought of seeking solitude and peace became muffled by the city’s chorus of horns. I changed absolutely everything about my life by choosing to move to the land of chance and risk— notorious for challenging people to “make it there.”

Making it, to me, means inner contentment and joy. Recently, I learned people process the world and external stimuli through forms of mindfulness, like solitude or discussion. When I began running, I quickly discovered my preference to run long distances alone in nature. In Boulder, CO I’d often go on long drives or hikes alone. Naturally, I did these things without thinking. When the world I inhabited seemed like too much, I sought out a vantage point to process the bigger picture.

If people don’t process the world, however, they numb it. I’ve been a runner for 11 years and a yoga instructor for three years with a routine meditation practice. I should know better than to think I can force contentment and joy through numbing with dopamine-driven activities (think distractions from thoughts like binge-watching, sweet treats and drinks), but I did anyway.

A good way to know if you’re numbing is when you feel stuck and play the blame game. I blamed crowds, honking, missing my family, work, my apartment, where I was from and being young.

It took me four months to realize that I needed to better navigate my path and take charge of my direction. My dad used to tell me: it’s hard to be happy, otherwise, everyone would be. It’s so easy to blame the world and stay the same. It’s so much harder to adapt and evolve to be stronger and better suited for the situation.

You can stumble through life’s unavoidable challenges, eventually leading to forced growth, or you can intentionally jump off the ledge you fearfully stare at and experience evolution: the enhancement of thy self to thrive.